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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 01.10.2015, 19:00 
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Registriert: 01.10.2013, 23:29
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Hi Audietta,

due to the fact that I never heard about Kübler-Ross I cannot provide any opinion... sorry for that!

To your second question:
I can't say for sure if my ability to manage my internal conflict has changed in any way after my coming out.
What I can sure say is that since I am living my "real" life, my internal conflicts are nearly non-existent!
In my pre-coming-out-aera i was full of doubts and second thoughts... That has changed completely now and i am living a life of content!

Have a nice evening

Hanna

Gesendet von meinem SM-G900F mit Tapatalk



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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 01.10.2015, 19:50 
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Registriert: 31.08.2014, 20:41
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I think the neat thing about Kübler-Ross is, it can be applied to nearly everything :breitgrins:

Here's an explanation for those interested: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/w/index.php? ... Ross_model




Edit Marina711: Link edited: not every Browser can handle German Umlaut



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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 02.10.2015, 07:56 
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Registriert: 09.11.2008, 09:33
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Hi Maria,

Maria_G hat geschrieben:
I needed to tell people that I am not happy to get early, I like to sleep and I like to come to work afternoon.
I needed to tell that I do not like to live in UK where I work and I would come time after time only. Those were really difficult problems, because I have my interests and employers have own.

In that case the method of choice would be to work as a free-lancer. Then you can overtly trade your opinions on working hours and contents against those of your prospective employers.

Cheers,
Petra



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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 02.10.2015, 08:22 
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Registriert: 04.07.2015, 12:05
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Themes:
1. Applying Kübler-Ross grief principles to Coming Out
2. How has your ability to manage internal conflicts changed since coming out?

1. For me, I have found that the process Küber-Ross describes has occured in both me and my partner. I used to rely on her stability and now her fear is causing her to go through these phases continually. What was once a place for me to deny my existance is now a proving ground for how I fight for my own sense of who I am. Most of my life I have been terrified of living alone, of being deserted for the Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation mix that is who I really am.

I have preferred to banish myself within relationships that have sought out with manic energy. Only when I realized how deeply disturbed I was, how broken I felt inside could I see how being afraid was destroying me. I used masculinity as a protector of my innermost identity. Like fierce animal I would defend my pseudo self with masculinity while internally starving to feminize myself. I tried to force my partners to feminize themselves to satisfy my buried need.

I experienced and still experience dysphoria constantly. Not understanding this I went through each of the phases continually trying to fight for control. :gruml: :loveeyes: :gruml: :nein: :arrowli: :arrow: until I got to :GT-Logo: . Once I opened myself, I realized I was in a devilsh circle where I had to step out of the fear in order to find my true self. I tried to disassociate my gender and push down my orientation and I have failed. I am so glad I have failed. Only now am I beginning to live.

So when I read the steps below...I realized how paralized and in prison I have always felt. Psychotherapy is helping me to find ways of righting my internal wrongs.

It does not stop me with some things I experience as a pre-transition MtF person. Today for example I went to a movie. I counted the number of blond girls with ponytails sitting waiting for the film to begin. All the while my jealousy burning inside. I was so jealous of the girl 2 rows in front of me who put her head on her boyfriend's shoulder.

My girlfriend, does not accept my self identification as a woman. She wants the man she has had at her side for 14 years. She does not want a Lesbian relationship with me but that is how I feel now. I am Bisexual. My internal gender and sexual orientation were diagnosed as diffused.

I denied my gender and orientation so much because of trama my gender therapist said they were erased. That may be different from many Transgendered people who could identify their situation and did not have tramas to overcome.

I was tramatized in my teens and in my generation no one in the USA thought Transgender/Transsexual was anything but a sick perversion. The public to this day does not understand how tormented we are by the inner reality we experience and the inside out and backwards fight we fight before transitioning.

The Kübler-Ross model has become accepted by the general public as a model for dealing with loss.
Kübler-Ross noted that the stages are not a complete list of all possible emotions, and can occur in any order, and that not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-altering event feels all five of the responses. I an see how it applies to behaviors in myself and others when times are tough...like they are when coming out or transitioning in whatever stage.


Denial — The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.
Anger — When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, it becomes frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".
Bargaining — The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise.
Depression — "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the individual becomes saddened by the mathematical probability of death. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.
Acceptance — "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."; "Nothing is impossible."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.


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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 03.10.2015, 07:45 
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Your feelings and sharing experience helps me to know that opening up is about dealing with fears. It seems to me we grow as people when we face our fears. Facing the fear in others requires social skills. Since our personalities are like swiss cheeze, we sometimes have to fill in the gaps internally to get straight with ourselves, but also to respond in a way that is supportive tho those who struggle internally with their take on us.

I just began therapy am not as experienced in living out my destiny. I have begun to feminize my thinking, my clothes, my accessories, my earrings, my speech and am getting clear on my underlying and repressed fears. Fears have been a bondage to me.

I want to find peace.


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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 17.11.2017, 06:31 
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I am sorry my life has been so busy that I have not been very active in this section. I will invest more time in it when the MDK-Kön finally receives my package of papers and green lights my GaOp SRS for Amis, UKies and Aussis. :smile:


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 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: English speaking area - propositions
BeitragVerfasst: 17.11.2017, 14:56 
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Hello Clarice,

Clarice hat geschrieben:
I will invest more time in it when the MDK-Kön finally receives my package of papers and green lights my GaOp SRS for Amis, UKies and Aussis. :smile:


I am looking foreward to your GaOP-report. :-D

Greetings,

Ava



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