Gendertreff Gendertreff-Forum
Forum für Transgender, Angehörige und Interessierte
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 Betreff des Beitrags: My awakening
BeitragVerfasst: 02.09.2015, 05:16 

Registriert: 04.07.2015, 11:05
Beiträge: 29
Wohnort: Mönchengladbach
At the age of 58 I finally woke up from Trama. I tried at 38 to do so, but fell back into building a life as a man. I have tried my whole life to be good and do good.

I know now that failing to express my gender and trying to avoid my orientation has cost me my inner peace. I have made peace with others and lived life making them happy but failed myself.

This forum has become a part of my coming out, my healing, my finding answers, finding help and finding peace.

I am learning to find myself takes courage...I have to make more decisions but I also I find courage. I am freeing myself of a false, and protective side of my personality. I am sometimes fearful of loosing my partner (which I now accept will happen as transisition.) I do no look my age in a wig, but I am not yet on HRT and SRS a future.

Money has been so tight I can not always come to meetings. The first day in my life in a dress was at a Gendertreff. Now I have more clothes, a wig, my nails are always done, I shave every inch of my body and go to a psychotherapist and just started with a Psychiatrist too. The later is so I can go on HRT and transition as I progress.

It takes courage to walk any path, but I am reminded of Robert Frost's poem
Robert Frost:   The Road Not Taken > Der nichtgegangene Weg   (Uebersetzung / Translation)

I am learning to take the less traveled way but the way that will make all the difference.

toward the end of his poem.

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I am here for anyone who needs help or a person to talk to.

 Betreff des Beitrags: Re: My awakening
BeitragVerfasst: 10.10.2016, 10:38 
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Registriert: 04.08.2016, 00:31
Beiträge: 69
Wohnort: Berlin
Hi Clarice,
The Poem by Frost is one of my favourites, too. Somehow it makes you think of the way life has been developing.
And now there is another choice to make, but I hesitate which course to follow.
Upt to now I have lived a very discreet existence as a female, owing to all the outside pressures of family and friends.
At least there is the gendertreff meeting every month where I dare to go outside.

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